Robert De Niro opens up on fatherhood, admits guilt over missing time with children

Hollywood veteran Robert De Niro has reflected on the challenges of being a father while maintaining a decades-long acting career, acknowledging that work has sometimes left him feeling guilty about not spending enough time with his children. The two-time Academy Award winner, who has seven children, said parenting does not come with a fixed formula and that balancing family responsibilities with professional commitments is largely about learning to manage both as circumstances change. De Niro made the remarks while promoting his latest film, The Whisper Man, which itself explores themes of fatherhood and strained family relationships.

No rulebook for parenting

Asked about managing his career alongside his responsibilities as a parent, De Niro said he did not believe there was any particular “secret” to achieving the right balance. He acknowledged experiencing guilt when professional commitments prevented him from being present at moments when he felt he should have been with his children. Despite having been a parent for decades, the actor said raising a child remains an experience that people largely learn by living through it rather than by following a prescribed set of instructions.

De Niro’s children span several generations. His eldest daughter, Drena, is 54, while his youngest child, Gia, whom he shares with girlfriend Tiffany Chen, is three.

Father of seven

De Niro adopted Drena after marrying his first wife, Diahnne Abbott, and the couple later had son Raphael, now 49. He subsequently had twins Julian and Airyn, now 30, with former partner Toukie Smith. De Niro and his former wife Grace Hightower share son Elliot, 28, and daughter Helen, 14. In 2023, De Niro became a father for the seventh time when Chen gave birth to Gia. He was 79 at the time. The actor has previously spoken about the happiness of becoming a father again later in life, describing how spending time with his youngest daughter allows him to temporarily put aside professional pressures and other concerns.

‘Support your kids’

De Niro has also repeatedly emphasised the importance of parents standing behind their children as they make their own choices. Speaking about parenting last year, he said supporting children remained the most important responsibility, provided their choices were not harmful or destructive. He stressed that parental support should remain even when a mother or father does not necessarily agree with every decision a child makes.

For De Niro, whose acting career has stretched across more than six decades, fatherhood continues to evolve as he navigates relationships with adult children, teenagers and a three-year-old at the same time.

Fatherhood mirrors latest role

The subject also connects with De Niro’s latest screen appearance in The Whisper Man, a thriller based on Alex North’s novel. The film stars De Niro alongside Adam Scott and centres on a father whose son is kidnapped, forcing him to turn to his estranged father for help. While the story unfolds around the hunt for a serial killer, its emotional core examines complicated relationships between fathers and sons — themes that have accompanied De Niro’s latest reflections on his own experience as a parent.